Finally

With shaky legs, ignoring the fact that my action was useless, I followed him into the forest. The evidence
of his path had disappeared instantly. There were no footprints, the leaves were still again, but I walked
forward without thinking. I could not do anything else. I had to keep moving. If I stopped looking for
him, it was over.

Love, life, meaning… over.

I walked and walked. Time made no sense as I pushed slowly through the thick undergrowth. It was
hours passing, but also only seconds. Maybe it felt like time had frozen because the forest looked the
same no matter how far I went. I started to worry that I was traveling in a circle, a very small circle at
that, but I kept going. I stumbled often, and, as it grew darker and darker, I fell often, too.

Finally, I tripped over something—it was black now, I had no idea what caught my foot—and I stayed
down. I rolled onto my side, so that I could breathe, and curled up on the wet bracken.

As I lay there, I had a feeling that more time was passing than I realized. I couldn't remember how long it
had been since nightfall. Was it always so dark here at night? Surely, as a rule, some little bit of moonlight
would filter down through the clouds, through the chinks in the canopy of trees, and find the ground.

Not tonight. Tonight the sky was utterly black. Perhaps there was no moon tonight—a lunar eclipse, a
new moon.

A new moon. I shivered, though I wasn't cold.

It was black for a long time before I heard them calling.

Someone was shouting my name. It was muted, muffled by the wet growth that surrounded me, but it
was definitely my name. I didn't recognize the voice. I thought about answering, but I was dazed, and it
took a long time to come to the conclusion that I should answer. By then, the calling had stopped.

Sometime later, the rain woke me up. I don't think I'd really fallen asleep; I was just lost in an unthinking
stupor, holding with all my strength to the numbness that kept me from realizing what I didn't want to
know.